jokes

ANY WAY FOR LONG LIFE

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.

Man : Will it help?

Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

SANTA BUYS INDIAN FLAG

Santa to Shopkeeper: – Mujhe India ka flag dikhao.

Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya,
Santa: – Isme aur colour dikhao.

WATER EVERYWHERE

Irritated tenant to the land lord, “Look, the rain is simply pouring through the roof of my bed room.”

Landlord replied, “Just as our contract says, Running water in every room!”

FAST HORSE

One police asked to the thief, “How you theft the horse within a minute in front of so many people?”

Thief replied, “I did not take the horse, it was the horse who has taken me so fast

HUBBY AND DARLING

Hubby : Darling years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.

Wife : Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it is1.5ltr.

ADD FOR A GOOD COOK

Hotel Management gave advertisement for a good cook to recruit. One cook has sent one application as follows :

“Dear Sir, I am a good cooker. If you appoint me, I am sure I will be able to cook you. When I was working earlier in a hotel I cooked them all.”

ROOPAVATI GUNVATI AND DHANVATI

Dad : The girl whom I showed you is roopvati, gunvati and dhanvati. So you should marry her.

Son : But the girl whom I love is roopvati, dhanvati and garbhvati so I must marry her.

SANTA BANTA FOR A MOVIE

Santa and Banta went to see a 9-12 PM movie show.
But they came back at 10 PM.

Why?

Because the movie’s name was “Dastak” (Das-tak:uptill 10 O’ clock).